Once Upon A Dream

I agree, I didn't like the rhyme scheme at all. I'm not a fan of the AABB scheme in general, as more often than not it sounds sing-songy and nursery ...

I think you could go a lot deeper with some of the ideas in this piece. The language you chose doesn't do your thoughts credit at all. I would get ...

Nice idea, but this piece is very basic. You could develop this a lot more. Tighten it up, add some more to it, be specific. My only specific complaint is ...

I agree that "choose" is somewhat overused. Repetition can be good when used properly, but here it just gets redundant. That aside, I really liked this piece. Great emotion, and ...

I agree that the rhyming was kind of inconsistentand choppy. Cool descriptions otherwise though. I do think the piece needs a stronger purpose, though. I mean, if you're just kind ...

Cool title, it really caught my eye. A couple things: Sad were the thoughts then, as the sloop approached me, shredded sails patched with Hades-magic This little section was very ...

Interesting idea...someone making a disgusting habit somehow attractive to someone else. I liked it, good language use. One correction I would make: that filthy habit that disgusting routine I wouldn'

I liked this a lot. Interestingly written. I think I would have ignored the 'suddenly' part if you hadn't pointed it out, but since I did notice it, here's my ...

As it is, the reader doesn't feel bad for you. This is more like a story being told emotionlessly. Also, don't TELL us this is your nightmare, show us. Rather ...

Hmmmm, VERY interesting piece. I like it a lot. The first time I read it, I was like, "eh," but then I read it again and that time I really ...

We forgot that we were surrounded by asphalt By stone and by wicked gray steel Great line, that was my favorite. Awesome description. Overall I liked the feeling that this ...

First of all, please fix your spelling/typos. It's kind of off-putting to anyone who wants to take a serious look at your work. Also, you may want to organize your ...

I liked this a lot as well. Great language, very descriptive, all fits together nicely. As for a title...I do kind of think that Shatter is all wrong, because it ...

I like the ideas and imagery in this poem...mirrors are one of my favorite subjects to wrote about, I think they're very inspirational. But one thing, I think you use ...

This is nice, with good, honest emotion. But please go through and edit your grammar. There's a bunch of mistakes that take away from the overall impact of the piece. ...